[Average Bro's DVD Commentary: This post is a few years old, but somehow still gets lots of new page reads on the regular. I got slammed for what some saw as old man's thinkin', or worse, homophobia for some of what's said here. I don't rewrite posts as a matter of principle, but I can admit that some of this came out the wrong way.]

As ya’ll know, AB Loves Da’ Kids. My site’s ulterior motive is to trick convince you guys to Take The AverageBro Challenge and spend an occasional Saturday morning with an impressionable Black youth. I know I talked hella greasy about Atlanta rapper TI for trying to knock off his community service by speaking to Atlanta-area teens. But reality is if more black folks who’ve “made it” took a moment to help others out, there would be no such need. Basically, if you’re not doing anything to prevent the next Latarian Milton, Genarlow Wilson, or Bryant Purvis, you shouldn’t say jack when the inevitable happens.

Stepping off my high horse, I witnessed something truly odd today when I went to the mall to grab some Mother’s Day gifts. As I was getting out of my car, a gold sedan packed four-deep with young black teens pulled up in the spot adjacent to me. The dudes were typical suburban wannabe thugs. Oversized cubic zirconium earrings. Pinwheel New Era caps. Those stupid lookin’ skater hoodies. This in and of itself is nothing notable, but what really hit me was the music they had blaring at 120 decibels from their stereo.

Deez bamas were riding four deep in the burbs, blastin’ Moments In Love by Art of Noise.

If you don’t know this song, just listen and you’ll get my point.

 

All together now… “Ewwwww!!!“.

Anyways, as I walked away shaking my head, it suddenly occurred to me just why male mentors are so important. Young dudes of Generation Xbox are more likely than any other to have not grown up with a father, uncle, grandpa, or some man in their lives to tell them it is emphatically not gangsta to roll four deep, or even two deep, blasting quiet storm-type slow jams with your boys. That’s babymakin’ music. That’s Skinemax 3am flick music. That’s Alphas humping the floor at a stepshow music. That’s not ridin’ four-deep with my homies to the mall music. Call me old, homophobic, sexist, or whatever ist/ic you’d like, but that idd’ish was just so wrong.

Since I can’t personally be a mentor to all youngins, I figured I’d throw together a list of avuncular advice for this latest generation of young bucks who don’t know no better. If you know a black male 21 and under, feel free to cut and paste this post and send it to them. Since they probably won’t bother reading it, title the email “Melyssa Ford Topless Photos” or some such nonsense to trick em’. While I thought that Budweiser campaign was jive silly, I have to liberally jack the concept to help steer our young black men from the path to prison and general mediocrity.

So in that spirit, here’s a few more of AB’s New “Man-Laws” For Young Black Males.

1) MySpace Rapper Is Not a Legitimate Career Option – The problem with rap music nowadays is too many damn rappers and not enough fans. Watch 106th and Park, cruise the comments section at XXL, or just drive around your nearest hood and peep the scrum stapled to every telephone pole. You’ll see plenty evidence that MySpace Rapper is the new ghetto dream/hood come-up. The problem is, most of these rappers suck, and none of these dudes trying to rap have apparently noticed that music period, not just rap music, isn’t even selling anymore! You’d be better off goin’ to trade school, getting that GED, or just goin’ back to hustlin’ than you would trying to “get your label off the ground”. There’s only one Jay-Z for a reason. And guess what? You ain’t him! Stay in school, fool.[1]

2) Bright Colors Are Not Your Friend – This trend is thankfully jumping the shark as I type this, but what the hell ever happened to wearing earth tones, or just plain black? Bamas will rock pastel polos, Crayola-inspired sneakers, and those stupid lookin’ multicolored pinwheel baseball caps like they’re 3rd graders. Enough already.

3) Be Nice To Johnny Law – My Pops taught me a very basic rule for dealing with the cops: Don’t! 99% of the time, if you’re not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about. So when a cop pulls you over, comply. Don’t act a damn fool and end up in a pine box. Yes, there are some egregious examples of cops who blatantly abuse their power, but far more often, the catalyst for an ass whoppin’ is some Negro who just didn’t know when to shut up. Do what they ask you to do, take down badge numbers and names, and live to tell your lawyer about it the next day.

4) ‘Shawty’ Is Not A Term of Endearment – Learn how to treat and talk to women. One benefit of youth is having the room to experiment and figure out what you like about the opposite sex without tangible committments (ie: a ring and kids). So, by all means enjoy yourselves. But no woman likes to be catcalled and shouted at. “Ay Ma!”, “S’up Shaaawwtaaay!”, and “C’mere Girl!” are not proper ways of attracting young ladies. Learn how to simply smile, say “Hello“, and introduce yourself. And if the girl isn’t interested, no need to insult her by hurling an “Eff’ You Beeyotch!” as she walks away. Just pick up your dignity and keep on’ fishin’.

5) Enunciation Is A Beautiful Thang - My Pops also taught me the importance of how to speak to grown-ups in a way that commands respect. Speak loudly, clearly, enunciate, and use direct eye contact if you want to be taken seriously. Don’t show up for your job interview wearing aviator shades and mumbling to the floor like one enterprising young brother I observed at an H&M store in Philly last Summer. Discover the joys of code-switching, and learn the appropriate places and times for using words like “jawn”, “young”, and “tight”. Eliminate the word “conversate” from your vocab altogether. If you’re vexed, peep my epic The AverageBro Broken English Hall of Shame post, and it’s accompanying comments for further guidance.

6) Pull Up Your Damn Pants – We already talked about the whole bright colors thing. But hues aside, make sure you’re putting your best foot forward when the occasion deems to necessary. All pencil jeans should be burned immediately. Ditto for those skater hoodies. Pull up your damn pants. Liberace wore themed belt buckes. If you don’t know who he is, Google him, then trash yours. And while I’m all for accessorizing, there is no rational explanation for wearing Air Jordans, a black and white pinwheel cap, aviator sunglasses, and carrying a walking cane when you’re wearing a black suit… at a funeral. Exercise some common sense and dress according to your environment. And oh yeah, no more pencil jeans.

7) Leave An Open Seat – This is closely related to the No Slow Jams rule. If you’re at the movies and there’s enough space, for the love of all things precious, leave an empty seat between you and your boys! You are not on a date, you are watching a movie with friends, so space it out. You can communicate with each other just fine when separated by an empty seat, and who knows, if you’re lucky, a nice young lady might want that seat. And you won’t even have to call her “shawty” either.

Blunts Are Not A Nutritional Supplement – Your body is your temple; not an ashtray for roaches. Two Strawberry Swishers (or Phillies, whatever floats your proverbial boat) do not equal a serving of fruits and veggies. Recreational drug habits make it difficult to hold down a real job, rob you of pocket change, and permanently char your lips. If you’ve really gotta do this though, at least have the decency to partake in the sanctity of your Mama’s basement, not while driving your Mama’s car down Georgia Ave. in mid-day.[2]

9) Enough With The Feminine Grooming Habits – I’m a Kappa Man, so I understand the importance of looking good. That said, some of these young dudes nowadays are taking the whole Omarion/Ne-Yo I’m-So-Hood’ metrosexual thing a bit too far. Baby hair is for babies. You shouldn’t be using your little sister’s makeup pencil to draw imaginary hair anywhere on your person. And if you’ve actually arched your eyebrows, or even remotely considered arching your eyebrows, just go ahead and stick your head in an oven right now.[3] Life isn’t getting any easier.

10) Read A G.D. Book – This isn’t strictly a young black male phenomenon by any means, but let’s break this habit while we’re still young. Every time I go to the barbershop, I hear all sorts of misinformation floating around. “Obama’s a Muslim.” “Ciara’s a hermaphrodite.” “The reparations checks are in the mail.”[4] “Tupac is secretly living in Brazil.” “John McCain is bringing SlaveryBack… yep.” All untrue, and all easily refutable if you’d read something other than King Magazine and the Post sports section. Man Up! and get yourself a library card. Smart is the new cool, fool.[5]

Again, feel free to disagree and flame me in the comments. If you’re on board, add your additions below. But whatever you do, don’t ignore the message because you dislike the messenger. Either way, Take The AverageBro Challenge to help save our young black boys and girls[6] from a future of Flavor of Love casting calls, HPV, and commissary deposits. And if you can’t do that, at least forward this post to your nephews. P.S.: don’t forget the “Melyssa Ford Topless Photos” subject line.

Because we go to do better than those damn pencil legged jeans.

Question: Got any “Man Laws” you wanna contribute?

[1] No need to fake for you guys. I’m a huge fan of Lowest Common Denominator rap music. Of course I don’t spend hard earned money on this crap, but between mixshows, podcasts, etc. I find plenty of ways to fill up my iPod with the latest snap and trap music. It’s great filler noise for working out, or knocking out the “Honey-Do” List.

[2] Or whatever road is appropriate for your hood/burb.

[3] Word to DP.

[4] No seriously, some dude thought those $400 economic stimulus checks Bush and Co. sent out years ago were slavery reparations. I bet he is really hyped about the $600 checks that just went out. Barbershop K-Nowledge is not power! It’s just ignant.

[5] There I go with the rappin’ again. Seriously though, I do make beats if you’ve got money for em’. Holla at your boy!

[6] I can only write from an male PoV of course, but if you’d like to help me with a New “Girl-Laws” post, email me.

[ORIGINALLY POSTED HERE]

Article by Average Bro

AverageBro is a world champion sh*t-talker and your favorite blogger’s favorite blogger. Peep more at AverageBro.com, or Twitter.com/AverageBro.

Average has written 148 article(s) for us.

"The only person who can drive success for your career is YOU. What you need to be thinking about is 'How can I find the right partner for my career.' A manager is not a babysitter, not a booking agent and certainly is not the answer to all your problems."

I’m a firm believer that the longer an artist can manage themselves the better off they will be in the long run. I wrote a blog post last year titled “Build It and The Music Biz Will Come ” I encourage artists to read before rushing out to find a music management “team” early in their career. Once an artist has done all the hard work required to build a dedicated fan base they may want to consider hiring management to help grow and manage their business. Below is an overview of some of the traditional management roles in the music business.

 

Manager

 

Traditionally, managers have spent much of their time getting their clients signed to a record label deal then working with their client’s record labels to coordinate publicity, radio promotions and retail marketing budgets and programs. Today, the desirable skills for a manager in the music industry have changed fairly significantly. Managers need to be specialist in direct to fan relationships, social media, online marketing, licensing and sponsorships. They should be generally knowledgeable in ways artists can be successful with and without a record label.

 

Managers should handle all the artist’s personnel issues with the band and crew members and work with the rest of their management team including the attorney, booking agent, business manager and tour manager as needed.

Managers are typically paid 15% to 20% of the artist’s gross earnings. That means they get paid their percentage on all the artist’s earnings including, royalties, publishing, touring, merchandise, or sponsorships before the artist gets paid. Some managers have multi-year contracts (that can be quite complicated) with the artists they represent and some just work on a handshake.

Attorney

Given the uniqueness and complexities of recording contracts, management agreements, publishing deals, sponsorship or licensing agreements and the various other music business related agreements attorneys can play a critical role in protecting the interests of the artists they represent. The most important thing to look for in an attorney is experience in the music business. Just because someone has a law degree (even from a top school) does not qualify them to adequately represent artists in the music business.

A good attorney with experience in the music business can keep you from making contractual mistakes they have seen that have happen to other artists. Attorneys usually charge by the hour or by retainer (a set monthly fee) and in the music business it’s fairly common for them to charge well established artists a percentage of gross earnings, 5% is typical. 

Business Manager

A business manager is the person or firm that collects monies owned to the artist from royalties, publishing, touring and merchandise sales, pays the bills, band and crew, invests the profits and files the tax returns. They handle the artist’s general accounting related needs, royalty collection & auditing and tour budgeting & reporting. Many good business managers are either CPA’s or employ CPA’s on their staff due to the complexities of the music business accounting and the challenges of dealing with multiple state and international tax jurisdictions that come into play when an artist is on tour. They also handle all financial aspects of the artist’s personal life including insurance, loans, mortgages, investments and estate planning.

 

Business managers typically charge 5% of the artists gross earnings in the music business but some an hourly rate or flat monthly fee. 

 

Booking Agent

Booking Agents play an important role in the success of the artists they represent by planning and booking their tours with promoters and venues. They will make sure you are playing in venues that are known for your genre of music or booked as an opening act for bigger band. Booking agents negotiate the fee structure (guarantee,  % of the door, meals, etc.), determine ticket prices and ticket availability in the market. Thoughtful route planning is critical to the financial success of a tour and a good booking agent should make sure you are not playing in Atlanta one night, Chicago the following night and Jacksonville the next.  Route planning can be a challenge for even a seasoned booking agent due to the large number of competing tours and the limited availability of quality venues in highly desirable markets.

Booking agents typically collect a 50% deposit on the show guarantee from the promoter once the show is booked. They usually charge 10% of the money the band gets paid for the show for their services. For example if the booking agent negotiates a $2000 guarantee for a show, they would collect a $1000 deposit, keep $200 (10% of $2000) then send the band $800. The band or their manager / road manager would collect the balance ($1000 in this example) from the promoter or venue after the show. 

Tour Manager

The Tour Manager handles all the details of life on the road for the artist during a tour. They will arrange transportation, hotels and meals for each stop, make sure the equipment is accounted for and maintained plus manage the crew. The tour manager makes sure the venue has the stage, sound and lighting set up as requested and that the band is paid per the terms arranged with the booking agent. They manage and safeguard the cash collected while on the road. The Tour Manager will work with the tour publicist to make sure the artist shows up on time for scheduled interviews, appearances and promotions in each market. It’s the tour manager who puts out all the inevitable fires that come up at each stop during the tour.

The tour manager is also responsible for maintaining the tour plan and budget set up by the manager, business manager and booking agent. They are typically paid a salary, per diem or a set amount per tour.

"I can feel the presence of the Lord and I'm gonna get my blessing RIGHT NOW!"

If this classic song doesn't get you amped up and ready to take on anything the devil tries to throw at you, I don't know what to say. I was at Kids Across America, a Christian sports camp, and they played this song during breakfast. You should've seen how much it energized everybody there. Hopefully it does the exact same for you.

Google is constantly developing nifty applications and technologies to enhance the way we communicate and work online.  Because Google survives on advertising revenues these products are all offered at the amazingly low low price of  FREE.  As a musician in a rather competitive market, it’s important to know and use tools that increase the efficiency of your marketing, managing, and networking efforts.  The goal is less time pulling your hair out in front of the computer screen and more time making beautiful music!

1. Google Docs
Google Docs is similar to Microsoft’s Office suite only simpler and completely online.  This allows you access to your important lyrics, schedules, and accounting docs from any computer anywhere on the internet.  Use Google Docs to share your lyrics with your band mates and even upload and share mp3s.  Use a spreadsheet doc to manage band expenses and income.  Use the form maker doc to create a booking form.  Use the word processor doc to create a set list or the drawing pad to sketch your  stage set up.  You can then share your documents and allow multiple users to update information.  You can also choose who does or doesn’t have access to these documents. The possibilities are endless.

2. Gmail
Besides being a reliable and easy to use email provider, you can also use Gmail to manage your band email addresses @your-domain-name.  Learn how to set that up here.

Gmail also features handy filters and labels to organize your email and almost unlimited storage.  So you can easily archive email as well as separate your fanmail from your family mail etc.

Gmail also has a built in IM and video chat feature right in your inbox—which can be useful when you need feedback from an absent bandmate when you’re in the studio. This chat tool can only be used with other Gmail users, however.

3. Google Analytics
Google Analytics will show you dizzying details about how your fans interact with your website.  Find out which of your songs is the most popular, how many people visit your site on a given day, or which search terms people use to find your site in the first place. You can find thousands of additional down and dirty details and statistics about how people use your website.

4. Goog411
Ever find yourself late for a show and you just can’t find the venue or you don’t have the phone number?  Google offers a nifty voice activated Google Search.  Just call  1-800-goog-411.  Google will not only find the business your looking for–it will connect you to them for no charge.

5. Google Calendar
Use Google calendar to manage your tour, practices, and concert dates.  You can give all your band members admin access so they can add their own schedule at their leisure.  Set up email reminders to remind you about your next show, radio interview, or practice.  Best of all, you can integrate multiple calendars (work, home, band, etc) using color coding.  Keep some calendars private while making others public.

6. Google Reader
Google Reader is a great way to have all your industry news in one place.  Subscribe to the online magazines, news sources, and music blogs that cover your genre.  So when you open Google Reader each morning (coffee in hand) you’ll you’ll see all the most recent articles from all these sources in one place.  It’s like a personalized digital newspaper.

7. Google Alerts
This one is a must.  Ever wonder what people are saying about your online?  Create a Google Alert and get an email every day or every week with a synopsis of who’s been talking about you or your band online.  Google Alerts will provide you with a list of links where you or your band is mentioned.  This way you can reach out to people giving you props and defend yourself against internet slander.

8. Picasa
This is a great photo editing suite with lots of features.  It also allows you to publish photos and share them online.  Edit, crop, enhance, and clean up your band photos and share them with your fans.  Picasa has a new face recognition feature built in and can automatically tag photos with the names pf people featured in them (pretty cool).

9. Google Blogsearch
One of the best ways to find success online is to be promoted and talked about on popular music blogs by the taste-makers in your genre or style.  What are the blogs to be reckoned with in your field of expertise?  Use Google Blog Search by searching for terms relative to your niche.   Once you find a good blog site, subscribe to it in Google Reader so you can keep up to date on the newest posts.

10. Google Voice (in Beta as of this writing):
Google Voice is great way to manage your voicemail and text messages.  Currently it is invitation only, so ask one of your Geeky friends if they have any invites left.  Everybody gets 3 invites (sorry I already used mine).

With Google Voice you can access your voicemails and texts via the internet in text format.  You can even set up a unique Google phone number that is specifically for your band and rings to multiple cell phones.  Google Voice also turns voicemail into email that you can read or listen to from your computer.  You can even send a text message via email and make specific outgoing messages for people on your contact list.  Pretty cool!

Posted via blog.hostbaby.com

Share your favorite Google tool in the comments!

Great advice here and I use most of them already (especially Google Voice)

"To get your PIN would be a blessing/ It's so precious like your skin tone"  - RIley on "BBM Me Up"

My patna DJ Hyphen (@DJHyphen) posts on his twitter the crazy things he gets in his e-mail inbox and calls it #inboxmadness. I thought I'd borrow that term and start doing the same with all the craziness I get on the daily (especially since I get at least 30 music related e-mails a day).

And I couldn't have chosen a better inductee to start this out than Riley and his new song BBM Me Up (Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he has a whole song dedicated to communicating with a girl through Blackberry Messenger).

Here's the e-mail :

re: "BBM Me Up" by Riley - (Pop/R&B) New Release From Richmond Street Records

Dear DJs, Tastemakers & Media

Please take a moment to listen to the attached MP3 of Riley's "BBM Me Up" which is the latest release from Toronto's Richmond Street Records:

Song: BBM Me Up
Artist: Riley (aka Darryl Riley)
Label: Richmond Street/Fontana
100% Canadian Content

"BBM Me Up" (referring to Blackberry Messenger) is a slow jam/pop/R&B smash hit along the same lines as some of the biggest radio hits of the 1990's from Mariah Carey, Boyz II Men, Jagged Edge & Brian McKnight
.
Riley has established himself over the past few years in the studio writing hits for the likes of Kardinal Offishall, Rick Ross and more.
2010 is the year that Riley has stepped out of the back ground as a writer/producer & launched his solo career. In Jan 2010, Riley was featured on the hook of Kardinal's single "We Gon Go" (click to hear http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_sHgBnOV58 )and now is launching his solo career with the smash hit "BBM Me Up."

To have a quick listen to "BBM ME UP" click the youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSVLN1jY3kQ

To download the full DJ Pack including accapella, instrumental & WAV files click: http://www.sendspace.com/file/ec0cwa

*****Try listening to this song & NOT walk around singing the hook!!!*************

The song itself is sort of like a corny mix of Jodeci, Trey Songz & Silk lol. It's obvious he was raised on ALOT of mid 90s R&B (whether that's good or bad can be debated). With that being said, I could see this actually being a hit in todays music climate. Especially with lines like:

"I seen you recent update/
wondering if you're up late"

Ohh and in case you're wondering, my actual BBM PIN is 21F59559

 

 If you live in Los Angeles, then you know about the “Summer Sunday’s” at The Do-Over. Some of the best DJ’s come from around the world and do what they do the best on the 1′s and 2′s. On July 11th, the “Magnificent” DJ Jazzy Jeff (alongside Skillz) got behind the wheels of steel to give the crowd a nice two hour set of classic music. DJ’ing at its finest.
 

DOWNLOAD LINK: http://www.sendspace.com/file/7msfy8

 

It's still amazing to watch and hear Doug E. Fresh beatbox

"It's like I sent God an instant message,/
He replied like I got you /
as long as you don't get arrested."

I still say this is Gott's best song in recent memory. He explains what he's gone through with TVT since Back 2 Da Basics dropped in 2006. I can only hope we get more songs like this on Live From The Kitchen.

"And through it all I never lost my faith/
Good things come to those who wait/
He musta sent me an angel"